If you’re here because you’re thinking of hiring me, 1) you probably don’t want to TBH, and 2) please note that the rest of this page was created in like 5 minutes while I was hungover and really shouldn’t be considered to be at all reflective of anything, except perhaps my distinct lack of eloquence, and excellent self-deprecating humor.

I currently work as a software engineer in New York. Please refrain from asking me to leak any interview questions and / or proprietary information from work via email, you’ll only embarrass yourself. If you are trying to get a job as a software engineer, prepare for your interview using publicly-available resources, such as LeetCode.

During my senior year at Fordham, I was the research director at the Fordham University CS Society. If that site looks suspiciously like this one, it’s because when I replaced our old, mostly broken, totally bloated, bootstrap 2.3 site, I figured I could kill two birds with one stone, and only customize minima once, basically just changing the color and font variables. I should note that I never actually finished that site, and most of the credit for it should go to my successor, David Bono.

I really hate writing about myself, so here’s just a list of random facts to make this page less empty:

  • I really like C#, but I insist on calling it “Microsoft Java” out of principle.
  • I honestly can’t remember where the hell I got the name ThoolooExpress.
  • I sometimes will do non-technical papers in LaTeX because I’m a masochist
  • The longest I’ve lived in the same country is 4 years.
  • BTW, I use Arch.

Yay! You survived reading my bio! Now go read my other content, which I mostly actually give a shit about, and update more than once every 5 years.